Disgusting Divers

Bob Grundmeyer
Disgusting Divers
There’s no denying it.  Scuba Divers can be a disgusting lot, at times.  They aren’t squeamish about jumping into murky dark waters just to see what’s under the surface and can often be found, post dive, rinsing sand from places people just shouldn’t get sandy.  To many divers, the musty, mildew laden smell of their scuba equipment is more of a badge of their exploits than a clue that they need to wash their gear better. 

Can you picture a snow skier hopping off the chair lift, sliding over to the edge of their favorite run and right before they head down hill stopping, removing their goggles to spit onto the lens?  Then rubbing it around with their fingers?  All the while, having a casual chat about what they expect to experience as they rush down the slopes?  A scuba diver doesn’t think twice about this very scenario.  In fact, it’s a fair bet that just about every scuba instructor on the planet has introduced this in every class they’ve taught.  There are plenty of commercial defogs to be purchased that keep scuba masks clear throughout the dive, but there is never anything handier than plain old spit!  And, if this is the first time you’ve ever heard of this, the answer to the question you are currently thinking is; Yes. It does work!

There are times that divers have been seen leaving the water, dropping their gear in a hurry and hurrying off to the head or behind the closest bush.  It sometimes has much less to do with that extra cup of coffee before the dive and more to do with the local sea life.  It has long been thought by divers that using your own urine on a Jelly Fish sting will alleviate the pain and neutralize the effects on the diver.  Medical professionals will tell you that while this can be true; it isn’t a foolproof method as so many things can alter the chemical nature of our calls of nature.  An acidic based solution is the remedy for a Jelly Fish sting and depending upon a person’s diet, our call of nature can be either acid or alkaline.  In this case, use of a commercial Jelly Fish Protectant would be a much better choice. 

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But, fear not!  If you have had one too many cups of coffee on the way to your favorite dive site, there is still hope!  Every diver on the planet can tell you of the tried and true method of warming up during the middle of a chilly dive.  Normal water temperatures are usually quite a bit cooler than our own body temperatures.  Coupled with the fact that water dissipates heat 4 times faster than air does, it won’t take long before the relief of relieving one’s self of that extra coffee or soda is welcomed by the diver.  Just use a little extra deodorizer in the bucket when washing your gear and nobody will ever know.  If this is just a bit too much for you, there are a variety of thermal dive skins that can be worn under a wetsuit to help avoid the need for this little espresso shot of warmth. 

Scuba divers have always been known to be a creative and inventive bunch.  Their entire sport has its roots in the concept.  Scuba gear was invented from items originally designed for other uses and nothing very often goes to waste.  Even substances some would consider disgusting.